Feb. 6, 2018

Photo

In this photo, I'm modeling for the society section of the state's only newspaper. The photographer staged the photos inside the Civic Center in Pine Bluff, Arkansas. I estimate the date to be 1970 or 1971.

Interesting that I remember exactly what was on-my-mind as I poised for the camera that afternoon. My Divorce was eminent; I'd reached my limit. I'd had enough of a destructive, one-sided marriage.

Facing the unknown---an un-predictable future--- I knew that my children and I had no way to go but "up". Our lives in Pine Bluff were over---every direction was a dead-end street.

Looking back, I have regrets but... divorce was never one of them. I do regret having to endure the constant mental abuse from my ex, his next wife, and from all in his family--decades after the divorce. It should never have happened.

Knowing what I know now....I would have sold anything and everything...to pay for restraining orders, lawsuits, even a "contract" on all of them if necessary. I should have made "believers" out of them, long ago.

Over the years, I've learned why some of us would rather be alone....than in a phony marriage with fair-weather friends, and a fake family.

Thankfully, through all the stress, hurt, and abuse, I never lost my ability to love. Only now....I'm very particular who gets close enough to experience...my heart.