Mar. 15, 2018

WHAT DOES IT TAKE TO MAKE YOU HAPPY?

Do you ever stop living long enough to ask yourself: "Am I happy?"

Most of us have a daily to-do list,  a regular schedule...whether it's working a job, volunteering, exercising, shopping, cleaning the house, being a fulltime mother, wife, single parent....whatever it may be. We usually live by the calendar, live by the clock, and live-life like an endless routine.

Too often, we are so consumed by a schedule that we never stop long enough to ask WHY we do what we do and…Does it Make Us Happy?

I know being personally happy sounds selfish to some but to me....having lived so much of my life for others, trying to be a good Mother, an independent-financially responsible single parent, the ideal employee...I never STOPPED long enough to ask: "Am I happy?"

Yesterday, Cubby and I discovered a beautiful hiking trail that took us through natural woods, beside a spillway with blue water moving over slabs of flat rocks... and we loved it.  Cubby doesn’t have to say a word.  His body language tells me he wants to spend time there, to see more.

Today, I returned to our new walking trail. Cubby whined a little when I parked in the same spot as yesterday. He knew we were returning to the waterfall, the rocks, the emerging foliage, and the bright sunshine. Cubby was happy.

I seldom analyze my feelings. I suppose I’ve learned to do what must be done….in a timely manner…while staying organized, prepared, and dependable. Sure, I've experienced Happiness---it's popped in and out of my life many times but….it’s never been consistent.  Maybe that’s the way it is with all of us.

I’m not tough…I’m not hard…and I’m not bitter toward life.    But, I’ve always felt guilty about happiness.  Perhaps I’ve always believed that asking myself if I’m happy….is an indulgence I simply can't afford.