THE ULTIMATE ONLY HAPPENS WITH THE PERFECT KISS.
Some time ago, I saw an article titled, “How to be a good kisser”. After giving it a fast-read, I had to laugh. The title was completely wrong. A more accurate title would have been: “ How to lather-on a little spit to better-insert foot.”
My first real kiss happened the summer between the 9th and 10th grades in high school. I’d probably had a crush on David Breshears from the day I saw him at church. He was tall and thin, had a handsome face with two distinct dimples….and carried himself with an air of “mystery”. David seemed matter-of-fact…. not particularly friendly...which made him appear “hard to get.”
I was lifeguarding at The Reservation Swimming Pool the Thursday David asked me out. He simply said he’d like to take me to a movie the next night and I quickly said “yes”. I don’t remember the movie….or what I wore…but I do remember The Kiss.
At the end of the evening, David parked in front of my family’s home, turned off the car, and without saying one word….kissed me on the lips. It was a brief kiss….very businesslike, with no frills and….as soon as it started….it ended.
Still silent, David opened his door, walked around the car, opened my door and quietly escorted me to my front door. Before turning to walk away, he said only two words “Good Night”. David never looked back in my direction….not even one glance. Everything was over before it started.
I’ve learned a lot about kissing since my very-brief experience with David. Kissing is a two-way exchange. No one should dominate the action. Think of it as a silent-yet perfect-communication between two people-- like sign language. Kissing should be the ultimate in emotional expression. A Kiss can either convey an exciting message of endless possibilities or serve as a brick wall of hopeless reality.
Long ago, I decided that to be “really good” at something….I must practice. Since I loved to kiss, I decided to test the old saying “Practice makes perfect.” I’ve never regretted the time and energy I spent…all those years… simply kissing; and, I’ve probably become somewhat of an expert on what makes an exciting kiss.
It’s about so much more than just the lips and the tongue....and all the “accessories”. If your emotions aren’t involved, it’s not worth it.
Some men and women have the ultra-appeal….good looks, great body, elegant style, wonderful smell, perfect teeth….but they don’t know the first thing about kissing. Too many are superficial, mechanical, and kiss like robots . A few are completely cold and unresponsive-- like kissing a porcelain toilet(Yes, I've kissed a few toilets in my day----just read my book....THE BEAUTY QUEEN.)
IF YOU REALLY WANT TO BE A GREAT KISSER, you must first, get acquainted with your own mouth….and know what turns-you-on so....you'll know how to please your partner. It may take time but….it's worth it.
Start by licking your lips; feel your tongue as it moves around your mouth, wetting both the inside and outside while you concentrate on what feels good, what you like, what seems enjoyable.
Try opening your mouth and forming an oval. Now, let your tongue keep moving all around your lips while applying different degrees of pressure. For several minutes… practice pulling your lips together then, routinely, parting them with your tongue, ever-so-slowly, so gently. Finally, try puckering your lips… while your tongue slides in and out. Yes, learn to pucker-up!
For the Finale, try a little “Bill Clinton” by lightly-biting your bottom lip….then holding it for a short while. Try the same by holding your top lip with your bottom teeth. Sensitize your lips and tongue daily….feel the energy, the blood flow, and learn to express yourself by using your lips and tongue, all your mouth.
Never take your lips, your tongue….or even your teeth… for granted. These are your most-valuable assets and can make all-the-difference when you want to fully communicate with someone special.
Remember, kissing is a partnership and both partners set the tempo and the rythmn. Everything centers on The Kiss so don't get too excited-- too quickly--or be "in a hurry." Concentrate on the Magic; Enjoy the Moment. Don't think beyond The Kiss.
Anyone can learn to be a Great Kisser. But remember....you begin by lighting the fire inside of you....using your desire, your passion, your emotions then ....you share all that with your partner.
Kissing is the fire that will either burn slowly, steadily, and grow into a magnificent bonfire OR...it will burnout... fizzle too- quickly….then die.
Kissing must first be stimulated by your interest, passion and emotion toward another person; a kiss must sensitize every part of both, shared bodies and…a kiss must constantly seek to share more as it intensifies. Where a kiss leads...could well-depend on you and... how great you kiss.
As an outstanding performer once said: "Be the best you can be and..... always leave them wanting more!”