Apr. 28, 2019

FOR SOME, INCLUDING ME....EVIL ARROGANCE IS NEVER FAR-AWAY.

Several months after getting married I surprised everyone, including myself, by opening a voice studio.   Within two days I reached my quota of ten students.

Interesting how things happen.  It all began with the first of my new husband's “monthly business meetings.”  Imagine my surprise when Jack said:  “I will make the house payment, pay the monthly utilities, and allow you to charge gasoline and groceries. You will not have access to my checking or saving accounts or my credit cards.”  I responded by saying “You make marriage sound like a financial-partnership."   He quickly answered, “That’s exactly right, you make your money and I’ll make mine. I pay the basic bills but you are expected to pay your share.  I save the majority of my paycheck and when it’s spent, it’s only spent by me.” 

Fearing a confrontation, I remained silent.  In preparation for our initial meeting, Jack made a partial list of my monetary responsibilities.  The copy he handed me included clothes, makeup, personal items, even sanitary napkins, sheet music, furniture and accessories, dry cleaning, and shoe repairs. He added that, over time, other items would be added to my list. If I wanted  any spending money, I better get a job.

Month after month, Jack forced me to sit at the kitchen table while he paid basic bills.  I had to listen to his rants about living beyond our means; how we were just one paycheck away from losing our house. 

One time, he handed me the electrical bill and said:“You’re the only one using electricity all day so you pay this bill.  If you have to pay a few bills--- you’ll think more about saving money instead of spending it!”  Clearly, I was to be nothing more than a paying roommate and an unpaid prostitute. 

The old adage, “You don't know someone until you live with them" is true; most people are not what they appear to be. The more I learned about Jack Perdue...the sicker it made me.  To think....my Mother forced to give up a promising career to get married....and to him!

 My book exposes the truth about my ex-husband.  Jack resented me but he also resented most everyone in his family. He despised having to work in the family business, particularly with family members he considered “inept.”  Most of all, he hated answering to his father—the boss of the family business and ultimate decision-maker.

When things didn’t go Jack’s way at work--- he came home to unload his anger on me and later, the children.  He enjoyed calling his Uncle a God-damn drunk; to describe his middle brother as a lazy-asshole; and refer to his younger brother as a retarded Peeping-Tom.

For petty reasons, his rants usually included my brother: “Your brother is no better than my brothers.  Your brother, Jerry, is nothing but a fucking-reject from the funny farm.” 

AND....that's just the beginning of a seriously-abusive marriage that lasted almost twelve, very-long, years.

I'll share more...tomorrow.  Just remembering what it was like....back then...is enough to make me physically ill so....let me regain some "wellness" before I get into some of the more-serious details.  Trust me.....it only gets worse.....

Stay Close,

Sally