Sep. 19, 2019

I BELIEVE THERE ARE TIMES WHEN SHARING SECRETS----SAVES LIVES.

 

The Beauty Queen Summary.

 Sally Miller

My book begins on the final night of the 1958 Miss America Pageant and, as Miss Arkansas and Miss America finalist, I am performing my talent. Chosen by a series of judges to be the first Miss Pine Bluff, then Miss Arkansas,  I was considered the illusion of perfection---the smile, the walk, the queenly elegance, and the ability to sing well. It didn’t matter about my unhappy childhood; or that sadness sometimes shadowed my perfect smile; or that my beautiful heart was permanently scarred from abuse.

When I arrived at The Miss America Pageant, I remember disliking the stage director( he reminded me of my mother) because of the way he "barked" sleazy-sounding orders at rehearsal: “Smile, smile and keep smiling; nobody cares if you’re having a shitty day!  KEEP SMILING!  STRUT YOUR STUFF!  Stick out those boobs, swing those hips....and do whatever it takes to charm every warm body sitting in those seats out there! SELL IT, BABY!  SELL THAT FACE,  SELL THAT FIGURE...DON'T WASTE YOUR CHANCE...NOW!  But forget him...there were pleasant memories-- like the warmth of the spotlight, the endless applause, and the constant attention.

 Always needy, I wanted so much for everyone to love me. My childhood--without playmates--consisted of pretend-playtime; of hours playing dress-up and play-acting to the mirror. All my stage-worthy performances were well received....but....only by the bedroom mirror. My wonderful-fantasy world allowed me to--temporarily forget-- the abuse I’d long-endured at the hands of my mother.

I didn't write a book to gather sympathy… nor did I write a tell-all book seeking revenge. My book shares funny revelations, tender and sweet moments, and expose a few experiences that are a little-bit naughty. I don’t sugar-coat the serious chapters in my book---they are barefaced; every incident is described exactly as it happened. Those who assume I've enjoyed a life of privilege (and there are many) will read the brutal facts and learn the absolute truth.

My mother controlled me with fear, threats, and sexual abuse. From childhood to my early teens, she forced me to watch her physically interact with my brother. Decades later, after becoming the first woman to complete the first-ever journey of The Great Wall of China (All The Wall), I confronted my mother. Without a word, she pulled my father’s shotgun from under the bed, aimed it in my direction and--- I left her house forever. Twenty years later, my two daughters abandoned me to inherit her estate.

For me, the expression “Once a beauty queen, always a beauty queen” has proved true. Even now, slightly faded, a little fragile and totally alone, I continue to be known as the beauty queen. The glamour days of singing, TV/Radio shows, onstage performances, and noteworthy affairs have—over time--ceased; the constant job hunting, publicized firings, ongoing threats, legal controversies, have become a permanent part of my past.

 My reputation was burned-at-the-stake a long time ago yet….those who provided the matches—fanned the flames—can never be forgotten. In the nineties, during the Bimbo Eruptions, the media attacked me so viciously... I returned to China.

 Adversity is a great teacher. I never aspired to be strong or a seasoned survivor yet today...that’s what I am.  My story isn’t pretty.  But, writing about my secrets allowed me to overcome the shame and guilt I’d felt for too-many years.  My many judges can determine the winners and losers. 

I can never shake the Clinton connection but it no longer intimidates me.  Now, more than ever before, I focus on my successes rather than my failures. In my youth, my face and figure attracted the attention, approval, and love I so-desperately craved. And, like the song lyrics say, I wasted years "looking for love in all the wrong places".  

While compiling my book, I had no plan to include Bill.  I’d never discussed the details of the long-ago affair so---why start now?  But, I  reversed my decision to “keep quiet” after Hillary’s Henchmen began harassing me...again... in 2016,  shortly after she activated her run for the Presidency. Yes.... it was time to tell my side of a very- nasty story.

If the world salivated when they read about Bill wearing my black nightgown, then no one  should be disappointed with “the rest of the story.” Of course, I couldn’t overlook Hillary's involvement in my life and how she altered my ability to live-free. I detail how, in the nineties, her political machine used every tactic in their playbook to silence me. They dug deeper and deeper, until they reached China... and found me.

 I’ve also included a little “pillow talk”.  Bill enjoyed discussing his fetishes and fantasies but--best of all--he liked sharing confidential information regarding his wife's interest in women.

 A well-known newspaper recently singled me out as an expert on Hillary’s lesbian affairs. I’m no authority on lesbians but, as an Arkansas mayoral candidate, I did hold a press conference to deny accusations by the Democrat Candidate that  I was a lesbian. Of course, those scandalous headlines dominated the evening news. One elderly woman and loyal supporter told a news reporter: “I know for certain our Miss Arkansas is not a Lesbanese; Sally was born in a little town in Missouri!”

 Believe me, I have no allegiance to pageants, politicians, people, or the state of Arkansas. I write about my lawsuit against the cult-like Quakers, multiple near-death experiences, FBI/CIA incidents, seven months on The Great Wall, bad-girl moments, personal involvement with the disabled, notorious love affairs, even the quiet intimacy I shared with another Arkansas governor, Winthrop Rockefeller.

Despite the fact I’ve achieved the ultimate status of "ALL Grown-Up", life remains an ongoing challenge.  With constant highs and lows, my many trials and tribulations have exposed one valuable fact: I am extremely- intelligent. While living through a good-old-boy-style divorce; accepting full responsibility of two daughters as a single parent; withstanding the intensity of constantly job-hunting...on-going money pressures... and my mother’s incessant, long-distance control...I learned to appreciate my brain. I do many things well-- including singing-- but respecting my intelligence evolved slowly, much-like viewing an awakening-- in slow motion.

 Due to my mother's dominance, I never felt smart or worthy of praise. Most importantly, for a young woman raised in the fifties, being PRETTY and POPULAR was more important than being SMART.  It was only when Father Time gradually took-control of my physical beauty that I appreciated- even admired- the smart person I saw "looking back at me" from the mirror.

 At the age of sixty seven, I returned to college for an advanced degree. Not only was I the oldest student in my classes, I was also the only student earning a Master’s in education who was named to the Dean’s List.  So, despite "my age", I earned my Masters and received very high marks.  I actually felt proud, knowing my  educational success was based on my intelligence and not on my looks.

 Please note: After my 1973 divorce, I kept my married name, Sally Miller Perdue.  In 2003, after both daughters married,  I--legally--  return to my birth name: Myra Belle Miller.  But, nothing really changed. Everyone still knows me as simply----Sally.

 _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 (From the past: a few press clippings)

 A 51-year-old beauty queen from Arkansas realized a lifelong dream recently when she completed a 4,200-mile jog along the Great Wall of China. Along the way, Sally Miller Perdue received threats. She was jailed. She got pneumonia. But she made it. Earlier this month, she flew back to the United States but said "after a little rest, I would happily go back and do it again." After all, Chinese officials have just claimed the discovery of an additional 600-mile section of the wall in northern China. "I guess that's the new challenge," Perdue said. "Maybe, if I do that final section I will lose my “always-a-beauty-queen-image."

Tell that to Playboy magazine, who, in 1989, offered Perdue, a finalist in the 1958 Miss America pageant, $35,000 to pose nude atop the Great Wall. She refused.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

www.judicialwatch.org 7/29/99 98-1991 (WBB) Browning v Clinton Motion "...Plaintiffs would also like to question Ms. Sally Perdue, a former Miss Arkansas, about her claim that a known Democratic Party operative tried to hush her up during the 1992 campaign about an alleged affair with Clinton. She says that the man stated to her that "they knew that I went jogging by myself and he couldn't guarantee what would happen to my pretty little legs." Based on information and belief, Ms. Perdue has left the United States because of threats and is presently in China. Plaintiffs seek leave to depose her as soon as she is located or otherwise becomes available. ..."