Sep. 21, 2019

D-I-V-O-R-C-E ! SOME ARE NICE-- SOME ARE NASTY. SO GUESS WHAT I HAD......

The divorce happened many years ago but....simply writing about it again and--- I feel the same long-ago anger rising from deep inside.  Emotional pain never really leaves; it’s buried very-near the surface-- in a shallow grave.  

 One of the advantages of being a "big fish in a little pond" or “an old family in a small town”--- the cream-of-the-crop attorneys rally to the side of the old prominent name/old established family. The smell of old money attracts lawyers like roadkill attracts buzzards.

Eight attorneys represented my husband to vigorously-fight one small-town lawyer and me....as if we were enemy number one.   For them, it was about winning and the tactics they used were slimy, dirty, and ruthless. In Jack's attempt to destroy me, he was also destroying his children's future but---he didn't care. My small town attorney was unprepared for the arrogance of the gang-of-eight.  Young and inexperienced,  my attorney allowed the constant bullying from the “other side” to overwhelm his simple efforts.

 It took almost two and a half years to finalize the divorce.  If I’d been the strong woman I am today, there would have been no concessions and certainly no "little nice girl."  I would have taken my evidence public, challenged the “good old boy” system, and refused to sign any papers that did not award me and my daughters a sizeable-settlement. And, I would have slapped the face of the arrogant, condescending, bastard-judge who talked down to me like I was some mindless whore:

“Well, Miss Sally, I’ve heard all about you and seeing you for the first time---you’re not so bad looking; you won’t have any trouble finding a husband.  Hell, once you get the word out on the streets, you’ll probably have something serious going on in a few months. But don’t go looking for love ‘cause you’re well-past the schoolgirl age, darlin’.  Just get out there and look for some easy money.  The final settlement your attorney has agreed to on your behalf, is sufficient.  Jack’s giving you some financial help with the kids and that way he can claim them on his tax returns.

You’ll be getting 400 dollars a month (200 each child) until the kids are eighteen years old and you’ll receive a little alimony (350 dollars a month) but don’t forget, you’ll be paying taxes on that alimony--- which is fair to Jack and when you remarry, you lose the alimony.  

The house is signed over to you and your due to start picking up the payments...beginning next month.  Honey, looks like you better find that sugar daddy soon because there'll be utilities, house repairs, insurance, yard work, and all kinds of upkeep.   And….don’t forget….you have to pay your attorney fees out of the 25,000 dollar final settlement you’re getting so that money won’t last long.  Baby doll, I suggest you find a job real quick which wil be just fine.... it won’t hurt you to work. Now, move that cute little butt over here beside me so you can sign these papers.

And, just-like-that-honey, you’re a single woman again. You can do whatever-you-want with whoever-you-want---as long as you don’t get caught!!!!” And, just loving his “remarkable way with words”… the disgusting judge threw his head back for a full belly-laugh!

“Sugar, I’d love to let you practice on me but I’m a married man with a mean-old, jealous wife!”

 As I was closing the door to the judge’s chambers, my triumphant--NOW EX--husband, stepped up to deliver the final hit. “You should know by now that...I only married you because you were Miss Arkansas…. and God-knows…you’ve been one fucked-up disappointment!

Sally Miller

PS...Life's experiences can be fatal....if you don't learn a lesson from each one of them.