Dec. 26, 2019

IF YOU LIE ONCE, YOU'LL LIE AGAIN.

 

After my mother’s death, August 1, 2011,  a simple document revealed my mother’s propensity for lying.  She was quick to accuse others of lying when her very life was a lie.

Fate delivers revenge in strange ways and this time, it came in the form of an original document.  Shortly after my mother's death, a lifetime friend/genealogist treated me to a “workup” of my family, going back four generations.

Among his research I found valuable documents and priceless papers, including the original copy of my mother and father’s marriage license.   I’d never seen the license.  My mother claimed to have lost their marriage license during the family’s move from Missouri to Arkansas. 

She maintained she and my father married in March, 1934.  When my friend sent a copy of the original license, I was stunned. It showed my mother and father married March 1935, not 1934.  All those years, my mother lied because my brother, Jerry Heist Miller, was born October 19, 1935. 

Finally, I knew the truth.  My mother was several months pregnant when she and my father married.  Knowing my mother’s cold, nasty attitude, I’d often wondered why my father married her and now…I knew why. 

Ever the gentleman, my father did the “right thing”--- which, in those days--- was expected from a responsible gentleman.   In truth, my “holier than thou” mother who shamed my Aunt Katy for sleeping with a married man and having an abortion; who condemned every woman who “slept around,” was nothing more than a liar. 

 Today, knowing how my mother destroyed all my opportunities, belittled my many accomplishments, and robbed me of everything near and dear---including my children---I wish I had gone public with my secret,  years ago.  I should have put an end to her---long-before she put an end to me.