Dec. 29, 2019

I NEVER HAD A MOTHER.

She warned me…. I better not “back out”; that I better go through with the divorce because Jack had cost her money and she HATED HIM!  She must have told me at least three times a day, every day of my marriage--- about Jack’s selfishness; Jack’s attitude of superiority;  Jack’s ability to take advantage of my Daddy’s good heart. She never failed to tell me how much she hated Jack.

Until the day my divorce was final, she reminded me of the endless reasons she hated Jack.  She called him an SOB; she talked about how much money she spent on “the girls”….money that should have come out of Jack’s pocket.  And…she said I should pay her back for every dime my Father used in building our house.

After the divorced ended, I received a total of 25,000 dollars, cash.  The House was signed over to me…along with its monthly payments/ any and all repairs, all yard maintenance/taxes, insurance, and monthly utilities. At the time, I had no job. From that final sum of 25,000 dollars, I must also pay my attorney-fees.

And that's when I began hearing that I owed my Mother a portion of the settlement money because she’d paid for “the children’s” clothes and also provided me with one car after another. The fact was simple: my Daddy insisted on giving me his current car each time he bought another new car. The car he gave me always had less than 35,000 miles and he would trade-in my current car for his next new car. Jack never bought me a car.  Instead he took advantage of my father's generosity and I don't recall him ever saying "thank you" to my father.  My father was only concerned that my daughters and I had a safe and dependable car. 

Finally alone with my Father, I asked if I could share some of the divorce money with him and--- he was embarrassed.  He couldn’t understand why I would ask him such a ridiculous question.   He assured me the reason he made money was to share it with me and my brother-- his family. 

Then, after the divorce was finalized and I began my hectic life as a full-time employee and single mother of two----my Mother did a complete about-face.

Suddenly, her every phone call was about seeing Jack, talking with Jack, and about Jack bringing her new stationery or office supplies but not letting her pay for anything….and on and on. Suddenly Jack was wonderful; Suddenly Jack had turned from a Frog into a Prince!

I tried to ignore her insulting comments like: “You never understood Jack”, “You brought out the worst in an otherwise great husband and father”.”  Or best of all: “Nobody could live with you and stay sane! You don’t know how to love anyone because you’re too-busy loving yourself! All Jack needed was a real woman who knew how to take care of his “needs”.

Years passed and I continued to tolerate her abusive words and actions but seldom in person. I worked fulltime, far from Arkansas, in places where I could find employment.  Trust me, Arkansas was at the bottom of my list of places to make money.

After traveling China’s Great Wall, I returned to America.  She was waiting for me at the Houston Airport with a final ultimatum.  I always knew we would have a “showdown”; it was only a matter of when. 

While I was in China, she’d removed everything of value from my condo; she’d also helped herself to my sterling silver flat wear and other stored wedding presents.  She proudly announced that she’d gifted her hairdresser and preacher with several of my silver trays and silver bowls.  Then revealed how she’d recently gone through my suitcases, found some of my valuable pieces from my Great Wall Journey….and shared those with her friends too.  

Finally…she demanded all the money from the recent sale of my condo.  I argued, I pleaded, I rejected her demands….until ….she began taunting me with her sickest revelations:

“You always thought you were so damn perfect.  You paraded-around like some Queen who thought her Shit didn’t Stink but---Sister----you were nothing without me! I washed and ironed your clothes, I fed your lazy ass, and I cleaned-up your messes. I worked my country Butt-Off so you could be Miss High and Mighty and you never gave me credit for anything!  You always thought you were better than me but I showed you! Remember the times I slapped your face?!?!?  Everything you have and will-ever-have is because of me, Bitch, and don’t you ever forget it! You owe me!

For your information, I decided to show Jack what a REAL WOMAN is all about!  I baked him a Chocolate Pie—his favorite—which you could never do because you were too busy being all-dressed-up and showing off your skinny legs and flat chest!

Yes, he came to pick up the Pie and that’s not all I gave him that he liked! I showed him all kinds of tricks and treats that he never had with you!  That’s right--- We had great sex together and he enjoyed himself.  He was hungry for all I had to give him!”

 

Like the old saying “That was the straw that broke the Camel’s Back"........I’d had enough.  Whatever it cost me, I was through.  The person in front of me, so full of hate and evil, had never been My Mother. 

She had hated me from conception, hated me for nine months, and never stopped hating me after birth.  The way she'd used Sexual Abuse to control my brother and me for “all those years” was unforgiveable.  I pray to God she faces a “day of reckoning”.

Yes, that day I handed her the check from the sale of my condominium-- more than 40,000 dollars-- every cent of my money.  If this is what it took to break all ties with my worst enemy then…it was worth it.  

I never confronted Jack, my ex-husband.  I spent too-much of my life--- controlled by Evil.

Sally Miller