Apr. 28, 2020

"REGRETS, I'VE HAD A FEW....".

From My Book, THE BEAUTY QUEEN: Let No Deed Go Unpublished. This incident took place in 1959. I had returned to the Miss America Pageant in Atlantic City to serve in the 1959 Miss America Court of Honor and to be a featured entertainer, nightly.

DO NOT READ MY BRIEF POST if you can't stomach the truth-- exactly as it happened in my life.

"............The week of The Miss America Pageant couldn’t have been more devastating. Jack’s sudden appearance at the Pageant ruined all my hopes for auditions, singing offers, and any future plans for New York City. I felt defeated; I felt more hopeless and helpless than at any point in my young life.

So….I lost my virginity in a roomette, on a fast-moving train from Atlantic City--- bound for Little Rock. Good lyrics for a country song, right? Like an escaped prisoner being returned to Arkansas’s death row, I chose to submit rather than struggle. Two weeks before the wedding, I went “all the way” with a person who kissed badly, ignored foreplay, and satisfied no one but himself. Afterward, he apologized for not having a bigger “weapon.”

 For a man almost ten years older than me with years of sexual conquests--- someone who considered himself an expert on female anatomy--- Jack knew nothing about what Southern Men refer to as “priming the pump.”

Follow-up: That awful memory happened a very-long time ago.  Over the years, I've learned a lot about life and love and men.....and… one Valuable Truth: When a woman is breathless with excitement, overwhelmed with passion, and primed for the Grand Finale, she isn’t thinking about the size of the equipment......she’s only interested in how well it performs.

Sally Miller