WHEN YOUR FAMILY ABANDONS YOU.
The Date was August 1, 2011. That was the day everything changed for some but--most of all--for me. Yes, my Mother officially died that day and because of her death....I lost two daughters and two grandsons.
It is useless to resurrect the details of that day's devastating loss. It serves no purpose for me to describe the moment by moment hurt, shock, and disbelief I endured for hours, days, then years but--today--I have championed my loss. I have, at last, accepted what I could not and cannot change.
If you've read my book then you know about my childhood. You know that my Mother despised me from birth and abused me in a thousand endless-ways. In order to live beyond childhood, I had no choice but to---emotionally---"bury" my mother.
After my daughters were born, my mother used them, "played" them against me, poisoned them with hate, and promised them, over and over, that someday they would have everything----her money, her house, her jewelry---it would all be theirs and, I would have nothing.
August 1, 2011, my mother died and her promises came true. I was prepared for her Evil and spiteful hate but, I wasn't prepared for my ultimate loss. My daughters locked arms with their Stepmother, their father's Preacher, the local funeral owner and--together--they arranged a graveside service for family and close friends only; I wasn't invited.
I was only allowed to "visit" my mother at the funeral home at a specific time of "their" choosing and for only fifteen minutes. When I arrived at the appointed time, the funeral director "escorted" me to my mother’s casket. Looking at his watch, he reminded me I had only fifteen minutes. He also said the family requested that I not be left alone with my mother... for even a minute.
It’s been more than nine years since I've seen or heard from my daughters. I can't imagine what lies they’ve told my grandsons to explain my long absence from their lives. Looking back, I never believed I could survive the hurt I experienced when my daughters turned their backs on me and walked away---without even saying goodbye.
Devastated… I prayed to die and-- in fact-- planned to take my life but… God had other plans. He forced me to open my eyes and see that he wasn’t finished with me; I had more to do.
My mother and my daughters never loved me but God loves me and every day... he shows me how to love myself. Over-time, I've accepted the most important of-all-facts: When you experience God’s Love ...it means you “hold the key” to ALL THE LOVE in the Whole-Wide-World.