Feb. 10, 2021

SOME "GROWNUPS" NEED TO ACT...ALL-GROWN-UP!

The first week I moved to Hot Springs Village, I attended a Newcomers Dinner Party. There were no children at the event, only “grownups”….well, some acted like grownups.  Shortly after being seated, I looked around to see if anyone looked familiar.  My attention was drawn to an older man sitting at a nearby table, picking his nose.  Actually, the short-fingered, over-weight, and balding man was seriously “digging and flicking”.  Those at the same table were talking, laughing, and ignoring him.

Fighting a strong urge to walk over and slap his hand….I, instead, chose to study him.    It became clear that the man-child was married to the woman across from him.  Apparently, the wife had learned to live with her husband’s nasty habit.   Imagine being married to a man who picks his nose, like a belligerent child!  If he “picks” at the table, that means he “picks” any place! If he picks it….there’s a possibility he also eats it! If that isn’t enough to turn-you-off…then you have a caste-iron-stomach.   If he was my husband…you could forget kissing, holding hands, or….anything else!

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When I returned to college in the early nineties, I was “assigned” a seat at the “Dorm-Mothers” table. One of the women at the table, with large diamonds embracing each of her fingers, bragged about receiving millions five years earlier when her husband died. She insisted the money she made as a Dorm-Mother was un-important.  She claimed she just wanted to stay busy, feel useful, and serve as a role model for young women.  Well….after watching her after-the-meal-routine of using her long, manicured fingernails to carefully pick between all of her teeth, then  re-eat the “leftovers” or “flick them” on the floor….I didn’t consider her a role model for anyone.  We must never let down our guard and display our private hygiene…in public.  

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I will never forget my first “official” date after divorcing in 1973.  My former U. of A sorority roommate insisted I have a blind date with her single brother. Not only had her brother recently graduated from medical school but, after seeing his photo, it was clear he had an undeniable WOW factor.  I was impressed with his looks, his slim and fit body, the way he dressed, but…also… his sleek, black Porsche. He announced he’d made reservations at Little Rock’s TOP OF THE ROCK CLUB---which assured me--- he had good taste.  Looking back, I had lots of reasons to be excited about this-- our first date.

 We were the last people to enter the crowded elevator. There were at least eight others ahead of us but…they “tightened” their ranks to make room for the two of us. The elevator door had barely closed when it happened----when the horrific sound and ghastly smell overwhelmed everyone in that tiny steel box--when the realization that my date was passing gas—in public, on an elevator full of strangers,  including me--- couldn’t be denied!

 The embarrassing silence that followed the last few seconds of that elevator ride was extremely telling. When the doors opened on the TOP OF THE ROCK’S elegant décor and classic music….everyone rushed to leave the smelly incident behind.  My once-promising evening had been soiled by my date’s disgusting actions.  Not even a beautiful dinner with great dancing--even a good-looking date-- could erase the elevator incident.  Because he never referred to it or apologized for it, I knew my date had an entitled attitude; the attitude he could do what he wanted….when he wanted and….to Hell with those around him, including me. He never called and, thank goodness, I never heard from his sister ever- again.

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In my opinion, Live is simple when you respect others as well as yourself. Just live-life-like a well-trained grownup and practice basic manners.  Manners learned as a child, should never be forgotten; they should be practiced for life.

If you’re married…make-sure your husband or wife doesn’t share his/her nasty habits in public. If your mate didn’t receive the proper training as a child, then it’s your responsibility to train him/her as a GROWNUP before “allowing him/her out” in public.   As for an adult expelling gas-- in public—there is no excuse for such an inconsiderate act. If you think your actions are “cute”---- think again! It’s the degrading actions of an self-centered Bully, desperate for attention.

I speak for almost every Lady and Gentleman when I say: Both Socially and Personally, no one should demonstrate the bad manners I shared above.  Regardless of the situation, no respectable adult wants to see you, hear you, or smell you.  Neither do we expect you to leave the bathroom door open, forcing us to share your private moment then discover--- you don’t wash your hands when you’ve finished your business!

Simply, Sally