Apr. 29, 2021

MY DAUGHTERS--SERVING TEA-- ON THEIR PLAYHOUSE FRONT PORCH

During my lifetime, I’ve experienced MORE-THAN-ENOUGH Human Suffering. I've cared for disabled orphans without names-- in China; I’ve volunteered to feed old and forgotten street people in Atlanta; I’ve taught mentally-disturbed youth in the DC Jail; I’ve tutored six year old sex offenders and--until recently-- taught children with Autism and severe disabilities.

IT WAS ONLY WHEN MY TWO DAUGHTERS, children I once-carried in my body and my heart…walked out of my life…I understood the meaning of the words-- ongoing hurt/endless suffering. My loss is permanent. I am intimate friends with the term--- “ABANDONMENT”.

There are various kinds of pain but personal pain---pain that involves the most sensitive parts of the heart---can’t be treated with medicine or bed rest or physical therapy. Time can dull the pain but its after-effects are permanent. Due to endless moves and re-locations, my life’s story has been stored in boxes for years. It was no coincidence that an empty box aided in my “recovery”.

Years ago, while living in Atlanta, I took classes in Visualization. I learned the mind has amazing powers that can serve us in ways that medicines, drugs, and psychiatry, are unable to do. Recently, I reflected on those Visualization Classes and re-visited the Art of Visualization. Some call it “Mind over Matter”. Call--it-what-you-wish-but--- MY RESULTS were incredibly-helpful.

THIS IS THE SIMPLE TECHNIQUE I USED: I began by closing my eyes and---Picturing/Visualizing myself (in color)--- lifting EACH and EVERY pieces of my heavy and painful loss---including long-ago pictures, letters, spoken words, clippings, items of clothing, smiles, tears, ----and placed them---one by one-- into a large and empty white box. I carefully- tucked clean white tissue paper around and on-top-of-- ALL the packed personal items. Lastly, I placed the box lid on top of the completely-full white box and secured the two together with many layers of clear, sticky tape.

THE LAST THING I DID: I used a permanent red marker and drew a large red heart ON TOP of the box-- before writing my final message inside the heart: OWNER’S INSTRUCTIONS: PLEASE DO NOT OPEN OR SHARE THE CONTENTS OF THIS BOX WITH ANYONE UNTIL--- AFTER MY DEATH.

Sally Miller