ME---A DOMINATRIX ?!?!?!?
Four years ago, I found this chapter among my journals and considered it for My Book. In the final cut, only two encounters made it between-the-covers. No, my life hasn’t been dull, boring, or even normal and from time to time--- it bothers me that I seem to attract men who prefer Dominant Women.
You can read all—some--or none of my revelations. They aren’t for everyone. I don’t write for shock-value—but there are times when---I don’t feel the need to censor the truth.
Raised in the South, I read GONE WITH THE WIND... multiple times. With each reading I marveled that Scarlett-- so pretty, confident, and strong-- wanted to win the affections of Ashley, an insipidly-weak man. Unlike Scarlett, I never wanted weak men in my life yet... invariably… they always find me.
They find me where I live—play—work--- and shop. My life is non-fiction. Please know---- I’m not creative-enough--sexually--to make up the scenarios you are about to read:
“I was living in Atlanta, Georgia, at the time of this incident. While browsing for shoes in one of Atlanta’s most popular department stores, I was approached by a man wanting to help me try-on shoes. Dressed in an American Airlines uniform, this man was clearly not--- a shoe salesman. When I questioned his uniform, he explained he was an American Airline Pilot. Feeling uncomfortable, I quickly sat down to try on the shoes I’d pulled from the sale rack. The pilot immediately moved to the empty seat beside me.
Removing the shoes I was wearing, I glanced at my seat mate. He wasn’t looking at me. Instead, he was seriously-studying my feet. He appeared mesmerized as I stood in front of the mirror, trying to decide if I liked the sale shoes well enough to buy them. The uniformed stranger began making comments like, “your feet are lovely and—so slender”….. “You have delicately-curved ankles”…. and… “I’m in love with how your arches caress those heels.”
Perhaps, in the beginning, I was flattered by the attention…but the Pilot’s submissive behavior and weird comments….made me nervous. Muttering something about being late for another appointment, I hurriedly walked away. I’m usually attracted to men in uniform but, not this time.”
THIS NEXT INCIDENT APPEARED IN MY BOOK:
“Running every morning, near the Arkansas River, I began receiving mysterious calls from a man who was following me. From the first phone call, the mysterious caller described my legs and what I'd been wearing-- the last time he saw me running on the bike trail. His voice sounded angry as he described his need for me to stand on his chest, kick him, urinate on him, and strangle his neck with my “powerful long legs”! I taped some of his phone calls and, after playing the tapes for the Little Rock police department, I agree with the Police Chief’s request to meet the strange caller.
Based on the caller's conversations, I perceived him to be a very sick, unstable individual. Sensing my fear, the chief of police assured me that undercover police driving unmarked cars, would follow me to the meeting spot. The police planned to arrest the caller and stop the abusive, possibly-dangerous phone calls.
I arrived at the designated meeting spot. The mystery man pulled up in a late-model Mercedes convertible, got out and walked to my car. Glancing inside to make certain it was me—the mystery man opened the passenger side of my car and climbed in. Immediately six policemen--guns ready--surrounded my car and took control. When I looked into the face of the mysterious caller, I was shocked. I knew his name, his identity---in fact--- I knew the man and his wife. He was a wealthy Little Rock businessman who was married to another Miss Arkansas.”
And, I can’t forget my young student at a Virginia High School:
“The school day was almost-over when the student asked to stay after class to talk with me. Everyone had left the room and this normally-shy young boy blurted out that he dreamed of me pulling down his pants and spanking him until he cried. The more he talked—fantasized--the more excited he became. Fearful of what might happen, I hurriedly-ended our talk saying I was late for a teachers’ meeting. At the time, I was a teacher-- over-sixty-- and he was a 16 year-old student. It was a scary situation that could have gone-crazy in seconds. Believe me. I had no desire to make “Headlines".
So----I will continue to ask the same, basic question: What ever happened to romance, courtship, and traditional love-making? I’ve never be attracted to passive males yet… regardless of my age… there have been males who've fantasized---seeing me as a dominatrix who dresses in black stiletto boots, a tight black-body suit, and uses a black leather-fringed whip to spank my many- male footboys--- my "slaves."
Apparently, some people don’t know-- my life has been a fight-to-the-finish; many don't know why I've had to appear confident, strong, and independent. Now..I can easily admit the truth: All my years have molded me into---- a fiercely-strong woman. Sadly, the most valuable part of me---my heart--- is consistently-over-looked.
My heart remains large and loving. Ever the romantic-- I've spent a lifetime just waiting...hoping.... for the man who will love me in a “classic, romantic, and old-fashion-way.”
Yes…I enjoy making a fashion statement..and...I love wearing my black tights and black boots but---I have absolutely- no interest in owning or using a black whip.
Inflicting pain on others has never been my style.