If I were a man, I wouldn't waste my time on one-night-stands. There's no comparison between making-love and having-sex.
A quality man knows how to please a woman and doesn't need nightly conquests with a variety of women to make him feel important---like a stud. And trust me, a woman of quality doesn't want a “one-nighter”---even when the man is good-looking, a charmer, a great dresser, or....a great dancer.
A real woman wants a man with elegance, class, and a fun side--someone who knows how to romance a woman all-through-the day as well as all-night-long. Trust me. There comes a time in every woman's life when she looks back and smiles-- remembering the One Man who knew how to love her in all the right ways; in all the right places.
Sometimes, making-love creates an inseparable bond between strangers. Many times, the magic between two people inspires them to stay united-- for a lifetime. And, there are times and thousands of reasons why, sometimes.... love-making ends before it begins.
But, when two people make-love in absolute harmony-- and both finish on a "high note"--- that’s the beginning of something wonderful. It's a memorable moment that should never be forgotten.
If I were a man…. each time I made-love with a woman…. it would be like the first time. And, I would make-love to a woman's heart BEFORE ever making-love to her body. I would love a woman like she'd never been loved before; I'd make each occasion BEAUTIFUL and UNFORGETTABLE and--only then-- would I feel like a real man.
OKAY…This is THE END.... for now. I'll be writing and sharing more about this subject soon. It’s a subject that is never-ending because….there’s so much to say, to share, and ….to remember.
Yes, I often "remember when" and.....I almost- always smile.
THIS IS THE SECOND PART OF THE STORY ABOUT MY ONE AND ONLY CRUISE SHIP EXPERIENCE. CLICK DOWN...TO THE STORY DIRECTLY UNDER THIS ONE... TO READ THE STORY'S BEGINNING. THEN RETURN HERE....FOR THE STORY'S CONCLUSION.
I’d reached my limit. It was time to present “my plan” to those in charge: “You either pull into the next large port, drop anchor, and escort me to dry land or….I fully-intend to jump-off this ship. You can throw me a raft and...I'll take my chances in the water. I’m not crazy or in need of attention. I can-not and will-not spend another night on this floating Merry-Go-Round from Hell.”
When the doctor (from Sweden) suggested they had the right to restrain me; to keep me from “harming” myself by placing me in a “locked” suite for the remainder of the trip, I advised him to “re-think” such a decision. I had no history of mental illness and, I had zero-tolerance for most medications but….I did have a long history as a Public Figure, a Television/ Radio Personality, and was “well-connected” with people in “high places”. If they doubted me…then allow me to make some phone calls.
The ship’s captain quickly took control of the conversation and assured me he would find a solution to my problem but….it would take many phone calls. He asked me to be patient and insisted I sit in his “command center” while he initiated a plan. Nearly two hours later, he directed me to return to my room and pack my bags. He asked that I not say anything to anyone but be ready to leave the ship in approximately 35 minutes.
I had barely finished packing when the captain's assistant knocked at my door. Without a word, he tucked my bags under his arms and ushered me to the main deck. By this time, everyone on board was crowding the ship’s various decks, curious to know why the ship was docking at an unscheduled port.
As I departed the ship, escorted by both the captain and the ship’s doctor, I felt thousands of eyes staring at me, questioning who I was, and wondering why I was being removed from the cruise ship. One thing I’ve learned about life….after years of living….I don’t owe anyone an explanation for WHO I am, or WHY I make certain decisions, or HOW I choose to live my life. I take full responsibility for my actions.
The first sign to greet me when I stepped on solid ground said “WELCOME TO ST. THOMAS”. I learned the Cruise Line had a taxi waiting to take me to the nearest airport. Thank goodness I had one-less- problem to worry about. The Taxi Driver was happy to practice his English on me and so proud he could list the names of the three Airlines from America providing regular service to and from St. Thomas.
I also learned that, for the next three days, there was only one flight scheduled to leave St. Thomas for the United States and.... it was today! In fact, it was a Delta Airlines Flight, scheduled to depart in one hour for Atlanta, Georgia. Passengers were already standing in line to board the flight and….all the seats were full!!!! I ran from one ticket window to the next, desperate to be placed on stand-by, frantic to find someone to help me. Surely…they could manage to squeeze me in…somewhere. I must get home!
Standing in that unfamiliar airport, surrounded by unfamiliar faces speaking an unfamiliar language and…suddenly….over the loud speaker I heard: “Sally Miller, meet your Delta Pilot at gate number 3 immediately.” I was speechless. People stopped talking to listen, and to wonder why a Pilot was speaking on the public announcement channel. Again “Sally Miller, Miss Arkansas, there’s no time to waste. Come to gate number 3. Your Delta Pilot is waiting, impatiently.”
I grabbed my bags and started running. I knocked into people as I pushed and shoved my way through the crowds. When I found Gate Number 3, a man, handsomely-dressed in a Delta Pilot’s uniform, was blocking the entrance, smiling, and waiting--- just for me!
We grabbed each other and yes, my eyes filled with tears when I realized this boy---now all-grown-up--- was my brother’s best childhood friend from Pine Bluff’s east side. Robert graduated from PB High School in the early fifties, then left to see the world…..and, thirty-plus years later, he’s a Delta Airlines Pilot…. hugging me in the St. Thomas Airport!
Robert took me under his "wing"….found me a seat on his flight…and flew me safely to Atlanta. He also made arrangements for me to spend the night at Atlanta’s Airport-Marriott so I could make my early morning flight…on Delta…back home to Little Rock.
Before leaving me at my hotel, Robert explained how….through the years…he’d “kept” up with me; how he’d watched me on television the night I was in the Miss America Pageant. He said “You were like the little sister I never had and, when I recognized you in the airport and over-heard your tale of woe…I knew it was time to take care of you.” Then, he kissed me on the cheek, and said: “Sally, I’ll always love you”….and left.
Robert...And, I'll always love you...for taking care of me. I KNOW God made all the arrangements but he placed his trust in YOU to “make it happen.” Thank you both!
"AND HE WILL RAISE YOU UP--ON EAGLES WINGS---"
Everyone knows it’s impossible to re-kindle a fire---using long-ago ashes. In the early seventies, Bob and I lived near each other in a small Condominium Complex in Little Rock, Arkansas. We started dating and enjoyed each other’s company for several years. Needing more space for my daughters and me….I moved into a house miles from my former condo and, before long, Bob and I were seeing less and less of each other.
There was a point when Bob, six years younger than me, began asking me to marry him but, having never been married….Bob just didn’t seem ready for the responsibility of a ready-made family. My children were fond of Bob; Bob was a fun-kind-of-guy. Yet…Bob seemed too-casual about life…and I wasn’t ready to chance another marriage-mistake.
From time to time, I’d get a phone call from Bob. He eventually moved to New Orleans and, occasionally, when he’d come back to Little Rock to visit family, we’d have dinner together. One day, Bob called to tell me he’d won a seven-day cruise...for two…on Norwegian Cruise Lines for being his company’s Top Salesman, and he wanted me to join him for the trip.
The Plan: Bob's company would fly me from Little Rock to Miami where I would join Bob and, together, we’d climb aboard a Luxurious Cruise Ship and cruise the waters of The Caribbean for seven days. It was summertime, my daughters were out of school, and my parents agreed to “baby sit” so…I said “yes”. I pictured myself swimming, jogging, writing, reading, and relaxing in the sun but never-once did I picture myself holding on to the ship’s railing, studying the choppy water far below, and contemplating…..jumping overboard.
We’d been aboard the cruise ship for about two hours when everyone gathered for dinner. It didn’t take long to realize that EATING is the biggest “activity” for cruise ship passengers; EATING is the “Main Event”!!!!
When Bob and I were escorted to our table…I was stunned to learn that six people from his company had also won tickets for the cruise and would be our constant companions for the seven day trip. Okay, I took a few deep breaths…relaxed… and accepted that I was now part of a group rather than part of a couple. What I quickly learned….and immediately deemed unaccepted…. was that Bob’s personal and unmarried secretary….who seated herself on the other side of Bob...assumed I knew she and Bob had been a twosome for some time. So….where did that leave me?!?!?
Bob’s explanation was simple: He thought we could renew our relationship during the cruise and that his secretary----who was fun but not interesting-enough to marry---- would “get the message”, probably find a love-interest during the cruise, then turn her back on Bob. It was the craziest, most ridiculous situation I could ever imagine and….it was time for me to go home!
So…for the next 6 hours...I had serious discussions with the ship’s doctor, the ship’s captain, and every official on the ship. They needed to understand that I must be re-located, moved as far from Bob and his group and--- as soon as possible. I never wanted to see Bob and his group at meals, in the halls, or be near them at any events. The ship was large and all I asked of the ship's staff was to keep my path from crossing that of the enemy… for the remainder of the cruise.
The room the staff assigned me was tiny, had no windows, and was located near the ship’s enormous kitchen. For two nights I struggled with sea sickness, deafening noise all around me, and mounting claustrophobia. On the third day, I visited the upper deck, desperate for fresh air and sunshine and… that’s when it hit me. I must get off this ship...now! We were scheduled to make a stop tomorrow but only for refueling; Passengers would not be allowed to leave the ship. I knew me all-too-well; I had to get off this ship and back home, immediately. I'd reached my "limit."
I looked down at the water far below and thought about my only alternative. Yes, it was either JUMP or try to endure another night from Hell. Could I do it…..Would I do it?!?!?!?
Join me here—tomorrow-- when I explain the miracle that happened--- a miracle so unique that only God, himself, could have arranged it. The Angel-- God sent to rescue me--truly had wings. You’ll be impressed when you learn how my Angel was able to fly me, safely, home.
Who knew that I’d be sitting in an old airport, in a town called St. Thomas in the Virgin Islands, when an Angel would shout my name—out loud---and—in return, I would reach-out to grab him, hug him---and love him.
See you tomorrow. The best is yet to come.
So, despite all your efforts to “lock-in” a secure future, the day comes when you have no choice but face the truth: You are alone. You have no family, no close friends, no job, a small savings, and your income is a Social Security- check. There are no phone calls on Mother’s Day...no invitations to Thanksgiving Dinner…and…forget about Christmas!
When I found myself in this situation, there was NOTHING I could change except…ME. It took time, patience, rivers of tears, thoughts of suicide, and wasted energy before I created a “recipe” for living alone…without being lonely.
I believe my approach to controlling loneliness can be adapted to everyone’s situation…whether you are male or female, rich or poor, old or young, physical active or….dependent on a walker or even a wheelchair.
ONE: Change begins with YOU. YOU must FIRST be willing to “rise” to the occasion. By that I mean…you must be willing to struggle, to pull yourself out of the depths of loneliness… even when it hurts… before you can begin the long climb upward. For too many, depression begins to feel like an “old friend”. Sometimes it seems easier to just do nothing and accept the familiar. STOP, RIGHT NOW…IF YOU EXPECT LIFE TO “FIX” your dilemma without YOU doing some hard work! NO ONE CAN FIX YOU….BUT YOU.
My solution is designed for people--like me-- who are ready to END the sick & tired feelings of loneliness….for everyone who's ready to conquer the negative feelings connected with loneliness. I want to help every person who's alone--to STOP FEELING LONELY!!!!
TWO: It’s time to look in the mirror and assess your appearance. Good posture tells the world that you’re proud of who you are. If you’re not…then--for now--fake it….but get those shoulders back, tummy in, and hold your head up…like a Queen or a King. AND, SMILE…WITH CONFIDENCE! After a while…you won’t have to fake anything about yourself---you’ll soon be YOU again!!!!
THREE: Fix the small things you don’t like about your appearance. Appearance is everything when presenting your-self to others. Start with a great haircut, something that makes you feel attractive. For women, a little makeup works wonders. I won't open my front door unless I have clean teeth, I'm wearing my lipstick, and my hair is brushed..and shiny.
Yes, clean, white teeth are a requirement. If you have dental problems…find an excellent Dentist. If you live on a limited income…find a free or almost-free Dental Clinic…or work out a payment plan with an understanding Dentist. Most Dentists will work with patients, especially those with a significant problem. Don’t forget that Dental Schools always need patients for students to “work on” and they work for free.
FOUR: Dress in classic clothes that accent your positives. Spend time--but not much money--finding attractive clothes that make you feel elegant. If you don’t know about today's "In-Style-Elegance"…then search through catalogs, dress shops, look at fashions online to educate yourself. I believe in shopping at discount stores, thrift stores, bargain basements, Goodwill, Salvation Army...where you'll find quality fashions at beyond-bargain prices....YES! Some of the smartest dressers I know dress, exclusively, from these places! YOU wear the clothes--YOU make the "well-dressed" statement....and you don't need to share your secret with anyone! And…while your “out and about”…smile, be friendly with everyone, including those on the other side of the cash register. You never know when you’ll make a new contact…a new friend and brighten someone's day...while you brighten you--too.
FIVE: Start walking, whether it’s around your block, the next block, or the high school track, maybe a nearby trail, or---inside a Mall. I wouldn't hesitate to use a large store like a Walmart Super Store to do my inside walking! You can push a buggy or a basket as you walk... if it makes you feel more secure but keep a steady pace with…NO EXCUSES! WALK! DON'T SHOP!
SIX: Every morning…search your memory bank for a song…either from your past or near-present. Find a song you can sing out-loud or silently… and start humming it, singing it, and let that song stay with you all day! For me...I pick a favorite hymn some days and...other days...I might sing a song by the Bee Gees like "More than a Woman" from Saturday Night Fever!! Have Fun and Enjoy each song you sing. You can also boogie, swing your hips and body, or move to the music as you sing. Remember: IT’S YOUR SONG FOR ONE DAY. TOMORROW, YOUR ASSIGNMENT WILL BE TO START THE DAY WITH ANOTHER SONG AND DO THE EXACT SAME THING WITH THAT SONG…ALL DAY.
SEVEN: Start this very day to be friendly, courteous, and positive with all who cross your path. From the mailman to the grocery man…you strike- up a conversation, ask someone how-they-are or…make a comment about the sunshine…the flowers or the trees…or compliment a person on their outfit, their kindness, or for their time in helping you!
I've formed the habit of standing at my front door every Monday at 8:30 am and...when I hear the garbage truck...wave to the garbage men as they empty my trash can into their big truck. I always smile, wave, shout "Thank You"and.... I mean it. Now...they look toward the door, expecting to see me, so they can smile and return my wave. I believe "little things" mean a lot.
EIGHT: Learn to “lose” yourself in projects. Sign up to be a school substitute; Teach Reading to Adult Learners; Form a Book Club; Work in the yard; Improve the inside "look" of your house; Hang your just-washed- clothes on the deck/patio instead of using the dryer. Completely Change your routine/schedule by visiting the local library.. volunteering at a hospital.. or an animal shelter. DO NOT STAY HOME AND WATCH TV day after day or just “HANG OUT" ON THE COMPUTER”! Every day, you must be actively involved with the outside world. Focus on “sharing” yourself with others--- through a smile, a kind word or happy greeting... or by giving a hug or a loving pat to a lost or abandoned animal...or by being sharing love with someone who is sick, dying, or facing a serious surgery. OR----WHY NOT start writing the story of YOUR LIFE?!?!?
NINE: If you don’t have pets at home…I urge you to adopt a dog or cat...or both. Go outside, daily, to Feed the birds, the squirrels....and all God's creatures that "stop by." My animals, both inside and outside, need me as much as I need them. We give each other love and…a million reasons to face both today and a million tomorrows.
TEN: Learn to love yourself. Compliment yourself when you look in the mirror. Say "I Love You" to yourself....and mean it! Never forget that a “little girl or little boy” still lives inside each one of us. Our childhood memories remind us of all the fun times…the times we played hopscotch or jacks…baseball…rode our bikes in the rain…swung from a bag-swing....chewed bubble gum…made mud pies, climbed the Jungle-Jim, loved our baby dolls/paper dolls, funny books, …then went to summer camps to be Brownies, Girl Scouts/ Cub Scouts, Boy Scouts.
Search through your memories for all those good times. Pat yourself on the back for all you’ve learned and accomplished. Shout “HURRAY” for all the good you’ve experienced and shared with others!
Remember all those "yesterdays" when you were motivated to succeed. Think about what inspired you...and when; about what gave you hope and promise; about what sparked your dreams. You’re never too old to activate a long-ago dream or make a childhood wish come true. Dreams and Wishes can be modified to fit today’s realities so…never toss them aside.
I AM PROOF YOU MUST NEVER GIVE UP--OR GIVE IN. Remember: It took me forty years to realize my dream of traveling The Great Wall of China so….NEVER-SAY: “NEVER”!!!!!!
AND...never forget to say "THANK YOU" to God.
Written with love for all.
I NEVER PLANNED ON BEING A STRONG WOMAN. I GREW UP WANTING A SINGING CAREER--TO SING PROFESSIONALLY--WITH STYLE AND ELEGANCE--TO BE A GREAT SINGER WHO ENTERTAINED AUDIENCES AROUND THE WORLD. MY LIFE HAD PROMISE; THERE WERE MULTIPLE OPPORTUNITIES. THE TIMING WAS RIGHT AND JUST WHEN I HAD ONE-FOOT-INSIDE THE THEATRE DOOR.....MY MOTHER SLAMMED IT SHUT.
FROM CHILDHOOD, I TRAINED WITH MUSIC TEACHERS AND VOCAL COACHES. I SPENT YEARS SINGING, VOCALIZING, TRAINING, AND PRACTICING... BUT...I NEVER SPENT EVEN ONE DAY BEING COACHED ON-- HOW TO BE "STRONG" AND "INDEPENDENT".
ALL THESE YEARS LATER--- I'M STRONG AND INDEPENDENT BECAUSE I'VE HAD TO BE. TODAY, MY YEARS OF PROMISE, HOPE, AND ENDLESS POSSIBILITIES ARE FAR BEHIND ME YET….THE LITTLE GIRL IN ME CONTINUES TO HOLD-TIGHT TO THE ELEGANTLY-BEADED GOWNS; THE NEVER-WORN SILK SLIPPERS; THE GORGEOUS PEARLS; THE GLAMOUROUS RHINESTONE JEWELRY; AND…THE MANY BOXES OF MUSIC. THE PIANO IS GONE BUT THE NEVER-FORGOTTEN MELODIES-- STAY CLOSE.
A LONG TIME AGO, I RELUCTANTLY ENDED MY DREAMS OF A SINGING CAREER. BUT-- LIKE THE LITTLE GIRL IN ME---I CAN'T BEAR TO SAY "GOODBYE" TO THE GOWNS, THE ELEGANCE, THE SPARKLE, OR---MOST OF ALL---- THE SONGS IN MY HEART.