THE JEWISH LADIES OF LONG BRANCH
Chutzpah= the quality of audacity, for good or for bad. The Yiddish word is derived from the Hebrew word ḥutspâ (חֻצְפָּה) meaning"insolence" or "cheek".
As a teenager in Pine Bluff, Arkansas, I made my spending-money by babysitting. Back then, I think the going rate was 50 cents an hour---certainly not get-rich-quick money. My babysitting services were most-popular among local Jewish Families, with such familiar last names as Baim, Sherman, Gershner, and Blau.
Young and impressionable, I observed that Jewish women were more confident, more out-spoken, than other women in Pine Bluff. Jewish women appeared to “say what they thought and get what they wanted.” From that time on, I began noticing that every Jewish woman---from Arkansas to New Jersey, from California to New York—wore the fanciest jewelry, the most elegant furs, drove the finest cars---and had the most adoring husbands.
In the eighties, while living in Shrewsbury, New Jersey, I became friends with a young doctor named Bob, from Long Branch, New Jersey. I never tired of hearing Bob's most-unusual story.
Growing up in a poor Italian family, Bob was determined to earn money for Medical School and soon, he took the advice of a few of his more-seasoned, male friends. Barely eighteen, he signed up to be a House Boy at one of Long Branch’s Fanciest High-Rise Hotels. The Hotel catered to wealthy Jewish Widows from New York City who paid large sums to live there, year-round.
Basically, being a House Boy meant doing anything and everything requested by “The House”….meaning the occupants therein. When Bob wasn’t attending college, taking tests, and studying, he was driving some Jewish Lady (in her car) to the hair dresser, bridge parties, shopping, and doctor’s appointments. He also served as a Jewish Woman’s “date” for dinner, movies, plays, and sight-seeing, It seems Bob was a favorite dance partner for the much-older ladies too, but-- most intriguing--Bob was the most sought-after House Boy when the Jewish Ladies were in need of a... bed partner.
Fascinated by his former job description, I asked Bob endless questions including, what the job paid. Of course it was difficult to break-it-all down for each “assignment” but… he said that working approximately 48 hours on an “average” week earned him more than 6 thousand dollars. He explained that Jewish Ladies liked to “tip” rather than pay an hourly wage. So, the more these wealthy women liked your looks, your actions, and your ability “to please” them….. the bigger the tip.
He admitted there were some major “challenges” and described one Jewish Lady in particular. The Lady was more than eighty, in a wheelchair, completely incontinent, had loose dentures, and--- despite endless cosmetic surgeries and hair implants-- resembled a grotesque old man. Even worse, because of her “plumbing problems”, she smelled like an outhouse. Bob said it was widely-rumored she was the wealthiest woman in the building and... she tipped well to the young boys she liked best. He admitted to spending several nights with her but refused to divulge the intimate details(I was insatiably curious). Bob only confirmed that he received five thousand per night.
I’ve always said that money can’t make you happy but--- it allows you to be selective, gives you choices. Jewish Ladies from Long Branch, New Jersey, seemed to enjoy spending their money in entertaining ways, like: When in need of a dancing partner, they just paid for the youngest and best-looking House Boy with the best moves. When they felt lonely, they chose the best House Boy money could buy-- to provide all-kinds of attention. And, when they wanted a bed partner, they select the best-looking and best-equipped House Boy in the building and paid him for a “job well done.”
By the way, Bob had no problem paying for college or med school, thanks to the Jewish Ladies of Long Branch. He may not have loved his job but....it certainly loved him back.
Hmmmmm...wonder if....this doesn't sound a little-like prostitution?!?!?
But--- who cares!?!?! Most importantly, Bob is now a wonderfully-trained gynecologist who has a reputation for knowing all-there-is-to-know about women.