ONLY PERVERTS WOULD SHOP WALMART---FOR SEX.
In case you haven’t heard me say it, I live in a very small community…far from the bright lights of a city. I’m talking about down-home-country where everyone drives a pickup truck with a Hunting Dog or two in the back. I live in the “kind-of-country” where you have only-one of most-everything--- like one service station, one McDonald’s, one Walmart, and one liquor store. Okay---you get the picture.
It was Sunday afternoon, shortly after 4:30pm, when I discovered I was “out” of deer corn. Every day---I feed birds of all sizes and colors while also providing food for the squirrels and chipmunks. But, feeding my night visitors is a real treat because they’ve become so tame…they ignore me… watching them eat.
It was sometime last summer when I began serving dinner—nightly-- to possums, raccoons, stray cats, homeless dogs, a few bears and-- even some wolves. But, most fascinating are the three white-tailed Deer who visit me regularly, usually around 8pm. Recognizing my Deer-Friends are always hungry and ready to eat every kernel of corn...I knew I must make a quick-trip to Walmart.
Pushing my basket toward the sports department, I moved at a fast pace. It’s always important for me to get home before dark. If you’ve read my book…you know I’ve always viewed darkness as my enemy.
Thankfully, there were only a few people in the store that Sunday evening so I didn’t have to “dance” around slow-moving people and multiple carts.
When a guy going in the opposite direction zoomed past me with an almost-empty basket…I only noticed him because he smiled at me. I smiled back, thinking he might be someone in the village I’d met some time, somewhere. I probably thought about our brief exchange for--at most--ten seconds. When I reached the back of the store, I was happy to see there were still a few bags of Deer Corn left on the shelf.
Pulling my cart close so I could maneuver the thirty pounds of Deer Corn off-the-shelf and–into-my-cart smoothly and quickly, I was just placing both hands on the heavy bag when suddenly I heard: “Wait, I’ll help you but first….I need you to help me.”
I turned and was immediately face to face with the guy who--a few minutes earlier--had smiled at me. He’d pushed his cart parallel to mine and was standing less than five feet away. What got my attention were his hands. Both of his hands were busy: One hand was holding his zipper open while the other hand was stroking his penis with speed and determination.
I grabbed the cart handle and started running toward several people I could see in the distance while…at the same time…I screamed: “HELP ME! HELP ME! A SEX MANIAC’S AFTER ME!!!!!!!!!
I never looked back. It took only seconds for me to connect with the manager and sales people, all-running in my direction. Almost-instantly, the sexual freak abandoned his cart and somehow-disappeared. At the request of the store’s manager and security team, I stayed in the store long enough to speak with the Sheriff once he arrived. I described my brief encounter with the sexually-charged pervert to the best of my ability but...with only “a smile and an erection” as evidence… law enforcement was at a real loss.
I’m still living in the country and Walmart continues to be my “place” for “one-stop” shopping like--- groceries, paint brushes, underwear, toothpaste, pet supplies and deer corn but----- absolutely-never-for ----sex.