FAKE OR REAL?!?!
From the title, you probably thought I'd be sharing my thoughts about Fake Jewelry, Fake Hair, or Fake Breasts. Sorry, those are all topics for another time. I'm sharing my experiences with Fake People who hurt your heart, your reputation, insult your intelligence, and, in certain cases, take advantage of your livelihood.
Life is our best teacher although it doesn’t give us the lesson until AFTER it presents us with the test--FIRST! Once I realized that Fake People were wasting my time, taking advantage of my kindness AND my bank account---I decided to “take a stand”.
Timing is everything. If you-- like me-- are ready to confront the fakes in your life, just wait-- be patient. When the right time comes along-- and it will-- you can enjoy, what I call, A Harper Valley PTA Moment. Afterwards, you’ll feel so good---you’ll want to sing, dance, and share your happiness with the world! Here’s an example of one of my better-- Harper Valley PTA Moments:
"As a voice teacher in the sixties, I taught girls from wealthy families, middle-class families, even families who were struggling financially but-- my fee for a thirty minute lesson was always five dollars--hardly considered big-money, even in those long-ago days.
One student was particularly talented. She played the guitar and had a very-pretty singing voice but---there was an ongoing problem. Every month, I sent statements to the parents of every voice student and, in return, I received a check. Yet--- when I deposited each check from the talented student's parent, every check was routinely returned by my bank—and marked “insufficient funds.” I didn’t blame the student—but I blamed the mother. After three years of giving the student free voice lessons, I chalked it up to another bad experience with an arrogant--- fake female.
Although she and her husband weren't members of the country club, this fake female managed to push her way into Pine Bluff “society”-- by playing bridge with almost-every afternoon bridge club that met at the country club. She also manage to be invited to the fanciest social parties so she could "rub elbows" with Pine Bluff's wealthy. She "fooled" many into believing her family—from Stuttgart, Arkansas---came from “old” money.
Long after I’d divorced and ended my career as a voice teacher-- I happened to cross paths with Vonn (yes, that’s her name) on Pine Bluff’s Main Street. Several days before, I’d announced my bid for Mayor and now, walking past her, I smiled and offered a friendly greeting. In return, I received Vonn’s unsolicited outburst of ugly criticism:
“Sally, I can’t believe you have the nerve to show your face in Pine Bluff. I thought you’d learned your lesson when you moved away from here. I’m embarrassed to see you're back and plastering your name and face on signs, everywhere, as if YOU think you could actually be Pine Bluff’s Mayor! Have you no shame?!?!? Wasn’t it enough--you dragged the Perdue Family’s Classic Name through the mud with such an ugly divorce? I can’t imagine why you insist on having your head in the clouds, acting all big and important when you’re just a Nobody. WHY don’t you come down to earth and be “normal"---like the rest of us?!?!?”
I waited a brief moment, letting Vonn believe her condescending speech had sufficiently put-me-in-my-place. Then, I-- stood tall—smiled-- and replied:
“Dear Authentically-Fake Vonn! For all your “proper” manners, why haven’t you ever-thanked me for giving your daughter free voice lessons for more than three years?!?!?! And, if being "normal" means—being a phony and a fake--- who knowingly-writes HOT CHECKS--like you, well---I'll choose to stay abnormal-- with my head in the clouds----- so I can distance myself from you!
Now, get out of my way and keep your nasty opinion to yourself. If you ever confront me with such slanderous words again---I’ll kick your pretentious, fat butt from here to the city dump-- where it belongs!!!!!”
PS--After all these years, I still have the folder-full of Vonn’s “hot” checks---all dated and marked---insufficient funds. I’ve learned to “save-evidence” when a fake like Vonn has a short memory.
Who knows? I may decide to feature Vonn in my next book. I'm totally-committed in my quest to: "Let No Deed Go Unpublished." Documentation is a must--- for those who write the truth.