Sep. 22, 2022

LEARN TO BE STRONG AND---STAY STRONG.

Emotional pain never leaves; it’s buried near the surface, in a very shallow grave. Every now and then it's good to look back and remember—just-how it felt to be treated like a second-class citizen. BUT—all these years later---I’ve learned my lesson---well.

 One of the advantages of being a "big fish in a little puddle" or rather “an old family in a small town”, the cream-of-the-crop attorneys rally to your side, the side of the old prominent name/old established family.  Eight attorneys represented my husband and fought my country lawyer and me... bully-style....like we were enemy number one!  For them, it was all about winning and the tactics used were slimy, dirty, and ruthless. In Jack's attempt to destroy me, he was also destroying his children's future but---obviously, he didn't care. My small town attorney was unprepared for the flash and arrogance of the gang-of-eight; my attorney, young and inexperienced, allowed their phony confidence to dominate his simple efforts.

It took almost two and a half years to finalize the divorce.  If I had been the strong woman I am today, there would have been no concessions and certainly no "sweet-little nice girl."  I would have taken my evidence public, challenged the “good old boy” system, and refused to sign any papers that did not award me and my daughters a sizeable settlement. And, I would have slapped the face of the arrogant, condescending, bastard-judge who talked down to me like I was some mindless whore:

“Well, Miss Sally, I’ve heard all about you and seeing you for the first time---you’re not so bad looking; you won’t have any trouble finding a husband.  Hell, once you get the word out on the streets, you’ll probably have something serious going on in a few months. But don’t go looking for love ‘cause you’re well-past the schoolgirl age, darlin.  Just get out there and look for the money.  The final settlement your attorney has agreed to on your behalf, is sufficient.  Jack’s giving you some financial help with the kids and that way he can claim them on his tax returns. You’ll be getting 400 dollars a month (200 each child) until the kids are eighteen years old and you’ll receive a little alimony (350 dollars a month) but don’t forget, you’ll be paying taxes on that alimony--- which is fair to Jack and when you remarry, you lose the alimony.   The house is signed over to you but you’ll be picking up the payments starting next month.  Honey, looks like you better find that sugar daddy soon because there'll be utilities, house repairs, insurance, yard work, and all kinds of upkeep.    Remember you have to pay your attorney fees out of the 25,000 dollar settlement you’re getting so that money won’t last long.  Baby doll, I suggest you find a job real quick which is okay—working won’t hurt you.

Now, move that cute little butt over here beside me so you can sign this paper. And, just-like-that-honey, you’re a single woman again. You can do whatever-you-want with whoever-you-want---as long as you don’t get caught (he threw his head back for a full belly-laugh!)  Sugar, I’d let you practice on me but I’m a married man with a mean-old, jealous wife!”

 As I was closing the door to the judge’s chambers, a triumphant Jack stepped up to deliver the final hit. “You should know---I only married you because you were Miss Arkansas and God knows---- you’ve been one really-fu#ked--up disappointment!”

 

Simply, Sally