Nov. 2, 2022

NEVER ASK QUESTIONS---YOU CAN'T ANSWER.

One of the nastiest, low-life “pranks” I was forced to endure, every single day, were the no-name calls to my campaign headquarters. Whoever answered the phone was, most-often, asked to explain rumors---- I was a Lesbian. There were no rumors. It was merely a very-nasty political ploy to discredit me, destroy my reputation, and attack my character.
 
The day I stood on the steps of Pine Bluff’s Convention Center to announce I wasn’t a Lesbian-- was an extremely- stressful day. My parents were the only people standing with me. My loyal volunteers and supporters stayed far away. To my knowledge no woman or, in fact-- any Miss Arkansas—in the history of Arkansas politics— had ever uttered the word “lesbian” in a press conference. I issued my statement—late morning—to only a few reporters. But, by that evening, every radio and TV station in Arkansas carried the story as “Breaking News”-- at 6 p.m.
 
Several months later, I appeared on a local talk-radio show. The call-in lines were packed with people wanting to express themselves-- support my run for Mayor or--denounce me or-- challenge me—and all wanted to bombard me with questions and comments. I wasn’t surprised when one older-sounding woman called to shame me for having a press conference and for actually speaking the word---Lesbian---in public.  The elderly lady announced—quite proudly-- she had reported my "bad behavior” to the Miss Arkansas Pageant Committee while suggesting they take-back both my crown and my title.
 
After sufficiently "beating-me-up" with harsh words and threats, the older woman seemed satisfied and was about to hang-up when--- she suddenly-remembered a question she needed to ask. I still remember her exact words: “Not that I really care but-- tell me—how in the world can two women, with the same body parts, have sex?!?!? How can the two of you ever-hope to have an ORGANISM?!?!?!?”
 
Trying to be respectful and not laugh--- I said: “Ma’am, as I told you before, I am not a Lesbian. I have no idea how Lesbians perform sex but--now--- I'm curious. As a heterosexual, I know about an ORGASM but never--once—in all my life—have I ever-experienced an ORGANISM. Please tell me what I’ve been missing?”
 
The older woman suddenly screamed--and slammed down the phone. The show host, overcome with laughter, quickly went to a commercial.
 
Simply, Sally